A friend posted on facebook recently regarding her frustration with teen mothers who receive assistance yet possess iPhones, sports or luxury cars, designer clothes, etc.  I left what turned into a giant rant as a comment.

“I have a bit of a schizophrenic comment (as in, of two minds): I completely agree, I have even been called a "Nazi" for saying that people should need a license to have children. I mean, you need a license to drive a car but not to spawn offspring?  Yeah, that makes sense.  However, I ask that you all stop and consider three things:

1)      How often is assumption a good idea?

My sister was a great wife and mother who suddenly found herself a single mother with, at least until something could be settled and certain steps taken, no income or child support, no job, and a child to take care of...but because she had an iPhone (from pre-HeLeftMeForAHo days) she was often given dirty looks while using her food stamp card.  Plato said it well, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle." 

2)      Is anyone ever blameless? 

I was a teen mother who immediately began taking steps to better myself.  It was certainly a factor that my father was in prison and my mother was on drugs…but ultimately my situation was my fault.  I made poor decisions and, therefore, I had to deal with the consequences. 

3)      Is any life accidental? 

Whether you believe in God or Fate or Allah or The Great and Powerful Oz...most doctrines indicate that every child has a purpose; every life is valid.  Now, none of that changes the fact that, according to "Nazi Ally," upon hitting puberty, all little girls and boys should be temporarily sterilized (IUD's or mandatory BC, etc for girls and tied or clamped tubes for boys) until they can attain adulthood, pass a parenting course, and prove gainful employment. 

Okay, getting off the soapbox now!”

After posting that, I began thinking about a conversation that I had once (ironically enough with the Rat Bastard Formerly Known As Brother-In-Law/Best Friend, or RaBFoKABB) about this policy.  The million dollar question seemed to be, who would regulate this?  Would it be a Democratic bill or a Republican one?  If the Republicans sponsored it, the stipulations would grow beyond adulthood, parenting proficiency, and employment.  Suddenly, only married, Christian, heterosexual, citizens of the right background would qualify.  What about the Dems, you ask?  Well, then anyone could apply but only those with the greatest need would qualify first, which would be determined by the lowest income, so that they could have enough children to qualify them for the benefits necessary to live.  

Yes, I’m being catty…but in all seriousness who would say what constituted acceptable?  Who would decide how many licenses a person could purchase in one lifetime?  Would there be a maximum as well as a minimum age?  If you are at too high of a risk, could you still have children?  Would that place a liability with the government for issuing you the license in the first place?  What about partners?  With whom could you legally procreate?  Would Southern states try to pass an ethnicity clause banning mixed procreation?  You bet your ass a few of them would try it.  What if you passed the requirements but your spouse or otherwise chosen procreation partner did not?  Do you have to pay for the Parenting courses?  Are there scholarships?  

What about safety issues, violations, etc?  If you hold a driver’s license, you still must be a responsible and safe driver, or you may get a ticket or worse.  What happens to pregnant mothers (or fathers) who smoke? Drink? Do drugs?  Are their licenses suspended? Revoked?  What happens to the babies in those cases?  The questions are endless and, at least many of them, paradoxical. 

Basically, I rambled there (and I’ve further rambled here) to say that I am thankful.  I am thankful for the gift of my precious son, Alexander, with whom God (or Allah or Fate or Oz as you please) entrusted me, despite my tender age and undeveloped maturity.  Alex changed everything, and all of it for the better.  Everything I am today I owe in part to his existence.  I am thankful for each of my children and their constant impact on my life. I am thankful that licensure was not required when I was conceived, because neither of my parents would have qualified under any circumstances. I am thankful that assistance was available when I needed it.  I am thankful that the same Force that gifted me with a teen pregnancy also gifted me with a Nanna, who pushed me to “suck it up and do what it takes to stand on [my] own two feet.”  I am grateful that she is still there to help me, guide me, smack me when necessary, and to provide my kids with the same unconditional love that was my saving grace.  

I am thankful that no one interfered in my greatest mistake, because it was also my greatest blessing.